When one is a writer, one must realize that you face an audience of strangers. Esp. when you’re a writer of a blog. you have no realization of whom is reading this, criticizing this or even considering it a musing into their derlicition of travels during their days. But one can come to the realization that if when you decide you know whom that audience is, you can no longer take comfort in writing what you want.
you know you have a certain formula which you must be considered for. but for the most part, it is universally that whomever is reading this beyond the few that admit to reading it. I know about 100 people that read my blog. this one and the livejournal. I have the third mystery blog but that one is under a fake name so that no one really knows who writes it. except that its an expose of politics and culture and where my criticism are at their most honest feel.
but this comes to my latest point. Spring.
Spring time cometh. its interesting what spring brings to the mind. to many its cleansing of the winter cold, the shedding of the frost. the pessmissism that permeated our thinking and our emotions melts away as the sun stays out longer and our ideals widen. its the beginning of many relationships and also the end of many more. its the time of travel and exploration. its a time of pinics and drinking. holidays become more appreciated and the nites last longer. its simply put, the most entertaining of the times of year. it brings the renewed hope that we all craved for when we shed the last year and made toasts to the new year. knowing that with winter fading, our thoughts will soon be made into the comfort of long blankets for the spring which will soon catch us with a heavy sigh and a heavy heart.
with that comes this. everyone begins looking for a mate for the winter. I can not lie. I am too. after shedding two years of baggage and high endtail claims of not wanting to be involved, the last few months have seemingly made me want to be more engaged with people. more importantly, more engaged with women. I dunno why this is. it could be the alcohol talking to me on a somewhat empty stomach. it could be seeing everyone else around participate in happy, healthy relationships and could be that feeling of being left in the dust. soon, I will be the one alone. As Dave, Molly, Justin, Donald, etc become more involved with their mates, I will have to seek out the company of other singletons, only to see them engaged. it has really got me thinking.
now, I still have my standards. one in particular, has met many of these standards. but I don’t believe the feeling to be mutual. at least our lack of consistent contact would allude to it.
this also got me thinking about sex lately. to me, Sex is a cliché as overrated as a Star Trek flim. There are many things about sex that is often left in the world of fantasy. Sex can be at times, very funny. how do I know this? just this once when you have sex, get a video tape out and record it. and then watch it. and look at yourself in action. you will laugh. guaranteed. I kid you not. count the grunts and sing along to the songs being made from those moans. you will get a kick out of it.
speaking of funny, the talk during sex can be more comical than an episode of Seinfeld. I only say this bc I’ve encountered some women who are horrible at it. and don’t get me wrong, I don’t have some high number or anything, I’m just saying the ones I’ve heard, well. you get the point, I mean, nobody talks like their in a porno in ‘real’ sex.
I mean, have you ever said, ‘oh fuck me big boy harder with monster cock’ or have you ever heard, ’suck it, suck it. right on. in your mouth.’ no. at least I haven’t. you know what I hear? ‘have you gone yet?’ or the most common one, ‘ouch, teeth, teeth!!’ and most of the time, I hear ‘oh man, what was that?’ but there are some other very real ones. I’ll omit them for now. but this also goes with this that I had to make very clear to a friend today that, I dunno about women but MEN, yes, the males, THINK during sex.
I for one do all the time. I get distracted not from the physical act of it all but I do think about baseball, homework, music or other things during sex. does it subtract from the pleasure? nope. most of the time, the time when the women thinks I’m going to the long midnite mile is bc I’m thinking what I would be like running a mile. or something to that effect. and don’t forget, heterosexual sex is all about the opposites and what’s more opposite than my penis? its trying to find your vagina. yes, I wrote both words in one sentence. sometimes, we just need a direction. just like sometimes you need to ask the author of the book about some points.
which leads to me to believe this also, like the author’s intrepretation to a book, I’ve noticed not all women orgasm the same. some take a very long time. no man can just go plow his way through, get a static vibration, a moan and a chorus of screams and expect the woman will be off. it just isn’t true. the worse part is trying to figure out if they had one or not. some act the same way they did when you entered them as they are when they have one. not that I would want her to announce it. its not a race or anything. but nobody ever announces it anyways. they just have them. moving, heaving. it would be cool to have a manual that describes their heaving. gives me a clue. a lot of times I don’t like having one if she hasn’t had one. just seems selfish.
and please, no gential euphemisms. unless you’re writing a play or telling me a funny story. it just sounds weird to me to hear you call my penis ‘the magic steak kibab wand’ during sex just like you wouldn’t like to hear me call yours ‘hairy humble pie.’ just think about it. and push the senses.
I love the smell. really? I guess. I mean, the smell of a woman’s hair is very unique to their description. is she like Honey Dew Boba? or is she like Read Meat and Bud? I dunno. but it helps. trust me. the more pleasant to the senses, the better. even a pussyfart is a welcomed addition.
also, I just wanted to add that sex is a very real thing. people act uninhibited and unafraid, they shed the character they build for themselves during the day time when they are with someone they love at nite. its true. when you jump into that bed, nuzzle at her neck, naked…you don’t care what you look like or what you say? why is that? I wish I knew. but all of our conscience feelings that we carry around like unwanted baggage just burns away. when with that person, we’re excited, hopefuly, never full of any doubt, and never with shame. bc you’re with that person. THAT person. its estacey and deeply emotional. you never know anything better. its bliss, its joy. yes, you’re vulernable and yes, you have some doubts, but thats what makes us human.
it has emotions that keep us connected and bonded. people wonder why a break up is such a hard thing to deal with. sex. thats it. I say this with a heavy heart full of hope though. no sarcasm or pessissism. none. bc if you want sex without emotion, go watch a porno.
and if you really want to get what I’m getting at, read ‘the song of songs.’ its a delight, it was the one fascinating read I had in a semester of a learning about the history of sex was reading that book. yes, I read Sappho and Aenied and other things but it was the Song of Songs that struck me. its like an instructional manual to the art of sex. but its deeply ingrained emotion is so poetic that one can not but help and wonder what is the deeper bond being felt.
